A Matter of Confessions

Hey guys Cdog here. It seems that all I posted here in March are updates, and this one must add to that category. I do feel bad that I don't get much time anymore, but the high school life is a lot of work. I still have a plethora of recorded videos, but I never get around to uploading them. I'm still procrastinating with recording another one of my writings. I feel very guilty for that because I really want to do it. I still feel uncomfortable by the whole thing I guess. Other than that, I have been doing some personal stuff. That girl in the "Pain Inside" and one I talk about often, I have been writing her something confessing all the secrets I have kept hidden within myself for almost five months. In fact, this Wednesday the 26th of March marks the 5 month anniversary of the Towson competition in which I first realized my feelings for this girl. Now after those 5 months, she is going to learn. Not only that, but learn a bit about me. Unlike the readers of this blog, she knows nothing of this side of personal, wistful, and soft side of me. She knows me as a serious person, but none of those redeeming qualities you readers know about. Let me tell you, bottling up emotions for a human being for 5 months is painful. Everyday I felt the pain. Now since I wrote it, part of it cleared away. I believe it will all clear away once I give it to her and she comes back to me with it. The truth is, I haven't talked to her in months. My fear of screwing it up costs me many of an opportunity. Perhaps I'll write more in depth on my fears one day, but my fear of failure is deeper than you could imagine. It is the root to many problems that I face in daily life. Once the piece is done, I'll even share it to you guys. I want to make her feel special, but at the same time make everyone feel special. I may not be much, I only have 81 subscribers. However one of these days I will lead the movement to create peace and posterity in this world, and also make everyone feel important in their lifetimes. Until then, goodbye.

~Cdog